Out of the Darkness

Last September, my 16-year-old brother, Alik, took his own life. When I learned that he was gone, I was overwhelmed by a strange feeling- I actually felt peace and calm. It lasted for about 2 and half seconds, after which the shock, hysterics, and pain set in. I can't even begin to explain the journey that my family has had to take since that night, but it's one that will never end.
In the aftermath of a tragedy like this, everyone wants to know "why?" Why would a seemingly happy, healthy, active young man end his life that had held so much promise for the future? What happened to make him feel like this was the only option? How could we have changed his course? I don't think anyone will ever know the answers.
The biggest question for me is, why did he feel like he couldn't talk to anyone about what was going on? And even if he had, would we have known what to do? Would we have just chalked it up to mere teenage drama and  told him that he should enjoy his years of not having "real problems" before adulthood, or would we have actually listened and taken action?
In the year 2013, even at only 16-years-old, he should have known that what he was feeling was something that millions of people suffer from, something that he could have gotten help for. Messages like "drinking-and-driving kills people", and "tell someone if you're being bullied", and "drugs ruin lives" are pushed into the faces of teens and young adults, but why is mental illness not part of the picture? Suicide is currently the 10th leading cause of death in the US (fourth for adults between the ages of 18 and 65) and 90% of all people who die by suicide have a diagnosable psychiatric disorder at the time of their death. 24 million Americans suffer from depression, more than from coronary heart disease (17 million), cancer (12 million), and HIV/AIDS (1 million). Such a huge social issue should not continue to be so stigmatized.
This is part of what the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) is dedicated to addressing. On June 1st, they are holding a 16-18 mile Out of the Darkness overnight walk in Washington D.C. to raise funds to aide their goal of understanding and preventing suicide. Here is some info about their mission:

AFSP is the leading national not-for-profit organisation exclusively dedicated to understanding and preventing suicide through research, education and advocacy, and to reaching out to people with mental disorders and those impacted by suicide.
To fully achieve its mission, AFSP engages in the following Five Core Strategies:

• Fund scientific research
• Offer educational programs for professionals
• Educate the public about mood disorders and suicide prevention
• Promote policies and legislation that impact suicide and prevention
• Provide programs and resources for survivors of suicide loss and people at risk, and involve them in the work of the Foundation

Recently, I've been reflecting on why in the world I would have felt peace when learning that my little brother was gone. Was it heavenly father preparing me for the coming madness? Was it something telling me that whatever struggles Alik went through, they were over and now he felt peace, too? Was it a small taste of what I will hopefully one day be able to feel? Who knows, but his choice has completely changed some of my perspectives on life, death, and what happens in between. I'm not a crusader who can storm the television screens of America and force them to pay attention to issues that numerous people still choose to ignore or not "believe" in, but for now this walk is me doing my part. Click here to go to my donation page, my goal is $700 and I appreciate any donation that anyone can make.